Thick Chick

Ugh.

Yes, that is me.All 210lbs of sexiness right there.At this time, I,of course didnt realize how "heavy" i had gotten...But HOLY SHIT!

Ive never been a skinny girl, its always had some meat on me.It fit me well in school..but then my body went through 4 years of absolute torture...PREGNANCY.

My body was banged up(literally), stretched, pulled, bruised and swollen up for 4 freakn years.

Now, each pregnancy was different.Each baby gave me something.Dylan-boobs..well i already had those girls, but u know what i mean.Kilian gave me chronic heartburn...and my girls...ohhhhhhhh my lovely sweet princesses...They made me FAT.

My tummy, arms (you know when its bad when fist pump and it still wiggles after your done) ok ok..yeah i have never fist pumped in my life.but it gave you a good imagery.My thighs, my freakn calves..dont know how that happen, but it did.And my poor flat ass.I  finally have a nice plump ass.

Over the last 3 years, i had kept this weight on.I never really noticed till one day, i saw that picture and i wanted to die.I thought i was pretty.I thought i had it going on.But...no...no i didnt.I started looking at all my pictures and i cried.how in the bloody hell did i allow this to happen.Geez.

So, i started working out.i cut out all the breads, starting drinking water, went to the gym everyday, and walked the neighborhood at night.I instantly dropped 30lbs.

It had felt so amazing!!! 

Then, ella passed away.And I lost alot more, but i gained everything right back.

I eat my feelings, and boy..let me tell you...i had alot of feelings dammit.All i wanted to do was stuff my fat face and feel some kind of feeling even if it was self pity.

One day, my best friend Stephanie shared a term with me.

Thick chick.

We automatically high fived each other and laughed.

I realised, you know what....i will never be a stick..Lets be real.But i can be thick and beautiful.

So i made the grand decision to start working out hard again.I will get to my goal pant size of 8.Im a size 13 right now.Geez, im a fatty!!!

I have my fat days, where i go through like 10 shirts till i find the perfect one, stretch out my legs when i put on my jeans, stare at myself in disgust everytime im near a full length mirror and hate myself.I bitch at my poor husband cause i always ask him if i look fat.And i yell at him when he says the truth (which i ask him for).there are days where i stuff myself, then starve myself the next meal cause i figured i ate for an starving army.I try new diets, start drinking water, and watch what i eat....Then i remember how much i love tortillas, soda pop and sweets.And i get sucked into fatty HI Heaven.

Well my folks, I have made another decision to get my ass off the comfortable couch, and lose this addiction i call fat.

I promised myself, this time i will not stop.I will shred all this weight and finally starting living! Cheers!!!