My little sunshine!

I thought about you today. As i always do.

I have these random memories that just pop into my mind.I have flashes of your face, your beautiful little smile...

Breaks me down sometimes my love.The pain that hurts me is that those memories are the only thing i have left from you.But ill take that...ill take what ever God gives me.

I want to thank you for taking care of your brothers and sister.They are so full of love.I will thank you everyday.I like to think that you guide them, and help them make loving decisions.Yes, they can be mean and make mommy wanna strangle them sometimes lol, but they are sweet kids.

We are going to grandmas house this weekend to go pick up Colt.Daddy misses him.That stupid dog Ella.You would have loved him lol.Hes so hyper and stupid.Hes huge, not like Scooby big, but big enough that Daddy would have put you on his back to ride lol.We all know you would have loved that.

Mommy starts her new job on Monday.I feel like this will be emotional for me.I feel like i will probably shred a tear.This is an adventure for me.I havent worked in years.I know its time for mommy to get up and work, but im gonna miss being at home...this is where you were.I feel like you are gonna run into my room.I feel like if i close my eyes hard enough, you will be there when they open.

But, reality says, no......so i have to suck it up and keep my eyes open.

Geez, i see your pictures, and i miss you.I have never missed a person so much.I hate that i cry so much too.I really hope you are sitting next to me when i break down, or please make sure that one of your friends are with me.I need that.

Go play my angel! Give grandma a kiss from me and tell her i said i love her.I was really young when she went to heaven, but i remember her <3

Love you always,
Mommy