There was just something about her.

My Messenger.

Monday morning Ella's speech therapist came over to visit me.She was probably the only other person beside me and Steven how truly knew and saw just how different Ella was.I say different not talking in medical terms, I speak of Godly things.Miss Debra saw it.

I go back to when Ella first starting receiving therapy.I had a house meeting with all 3 therapist..speech, physical, occupational.This was a time when Ella couldn't do anything.She couldn't sit up, hold her head weight, eat, talk..nothing.

I sat there and cried to these ladies.Begged them to help me and help my baby.I wanted her to enjoy life.To be able to feel "normal".I didnt want her fixed, no no no.I just wanted happiness.

Ella started therapy that next week.Every week, they came to teach her.I say teach because Ella had to learn everything.What normal milestones in every babies life, didnt come for Ella....It wasnt in her package of life.

This is when God started showed us his "message".

We saw just how "different" Erawyn was.

She had this look, those eyes were golden.

Ahhhhhhhh, those big beautiful brown golden eyes.

There were times, where she would look off to nothing.I would catch her all the time..."looking into nothing" It was a deep stare.She would turn her face and smile, just like that picture right there.It was so fascinating to watch.I knew then that this child was an old soul.

One day she just starting living.It was like, she finally said..."ok guys..let me show yall what i got up my sleeves".

Where were times in her life that she did things we could NOT explain.She would do things that at her age, she was not supposed to do.She knew colors like brown,black, white, etc.There was a situation where Miss Debra lined up 4 color lego blocks.Brown, pink, white and i believe blue.We had never showed her brown before.We showed her once and lined up the blocks.Debra told her, bring me pink and Ella would.We went through all the colors and there she went.After awhile we asked her to bring brown.She walked up to the blocks.Looked at us,looked at the blocks,  picked up pink, put it down,smiled and picked up the brown.It was like she was picking on us.She knew exactly what she was doing.We could NOT believe our eyes.She had this smerk, this "pffff, i got this guys" kinda look.

This routine, became normal.You showed her once, and you never had to show her again.She got bored easily, her baby toys were not enough for her.she got tired of them real quick.She wanted to be a big girl, play with big girl toys.She loved our iphones.She would sit there and play games, logically played games on our phones.She even learned how to say Iphone..it was so cute.lol.

I knew she was different.

I had this gut feeling that she had been here before.Yes, this is crazy, but if you knew Ella, you would agree with me 100%.She was an old soul.

Now.

Back to my Monday visit with Miss Debra.

We would have conversations all the time on how Ella was different.We were on the same page.Always.She felt that Ella was a miracle.Not just cause she was born the way she was...no! She knew that Ella was here for a reason.

She sat here and told me that she knew Ella was a messenger.She was here to show us something.Ella changed the way She would treat future patients.Not to judge their setbacks, but to appreciate their messages.

I started to cry.Cause i agree with her.My baby was something else.Her life was too perfect, too well planned out, too special for a normal child.She wasnt just a baby down the street.

She had a presence.Everyone, EVERYONE that was around her would be in a good mood.She made people feel better.There was one thing that Ella did that sealed the deal for me.

Anyone that came to my house, and Ella liked them, knew she could be comfortable around them.She would bring them her toys.It was like a welcoming gift if she she approved of you.It was the weirdest thing.She wanted you to feel happy.She would kiss me willingly when i would be stressed out.She knew, even though i didnt say anything, that i was not having a good day.She would come up to me, hug me and smother me with kisses.She always knew just what to do to make me feel at peace.....SHE WAS 2!!!

Debra gave me a book called Angel Unaware.

She broke down while talking to me about it.She said it was Ella's story.She wanted me to read it.

This book is about a 2yr special needs baby.The story is what the mommy believes her baby said to God, the day she died.It it in the baby's words.

Now, the mother believes her baby was a messenger.Her baby had a mission in life.

This book is powerful.

This book touched Debra's heart because its Ella's story too.

I sat there, held the book in my hands and cried.I knew my baby had a mission in life.She lived a full happy life.She knew love.She felt love.She taught us love.

Ella had nothing in the world to learn.She came here with knowledge.She didnt learn from us.She came here to teach us.We lived in her world.She didnt live in ours.

Debra said something that i needed to hear.

She couldnt imagine how it felt to be Ella's mother.How lucky and blessed i was that God gave me Ella.To give birth to a messenger of God.

This book was supposed to be placed in my hands.I feel like it was another sign from her.She knew i needed to read it.To embrace it.To say, "See mommy...you knew."

I cant wait to meet her again.To see the spirit of her.I know that she wont be a baby when we meet in Heaven.She is gonna be her true self.

I cant wait to hear her tell me her story.To tell me, why she came to me.Her mission.Her love for everyone around her.Other missions she was sent on.

She is my soul mate.She is made for me.She was here to change my life.To make me a better person and mother.She used her 3 years, her mission time. to change the world around her.

.........And she sure did.

Thank you Erawyn Jizelle.

You changed my life the day you were "delivered" into this world.