Happy Mother's Day.

Here we are.

10 years later.

I remember the day I had Dylan.I remember the overwhelming feeling of love,protection and fate.

I remember saying, this is my child.This is my life and responsibility for the rest of HIS life. I grew from a 15 yr old teenager to a 16 yr old mother.

Since April 30, 2003, I was no longer just me.I was a mother.A protector.An adovcate. A teacher.A nurse.....etc.

10 years can do wonders on someone's soul, heart, mind and body.I hadnt always been a "good" mother.I had periods in my life where I wanted my life back.I put them aside.I did what i wanted and didnt care cause my mom was there to take the kids.That is a distant memory that I will never experience again.

Then, I had my 4th child.My miracle.I felt like God put her in my life for a reason.There were no explanations needed.She embraced our lives to help me.She was here to make me a good mother ...which in turn made me a better person.I had a purpose and it took having a disabled child to open my eyes. My kids also learned what it meant to truly love someone.They learned that life did end and it made them stronger.

.............

I have gone through hell and came back with a stronger soul.Ive had a rough 10 years.Its the mothers job that is neverending.I have days where I dont know how I do it, I dont know where to turn.I just dont know how to.I have so much stress that sometimes i cant handle it.I have learned that even though I feel like i cant...i always do.I always put my mother cape on and suck it up.Its not their fault.My kids dont deserve nothing but happiness.Im a wreck most days and yet, here i am....still standing....still trying.

Being a mother is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me.I adore and appreciate my kids.I get this over love feeling sometimes when I look at them and thats how I know, this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

And even though I will celebrate this Mother's day with pain in my heart...I have all 4 babies with me.I have neverending love in my heart.I have a bond of 4 hearts in my soul.What more can a person ask for?What more in this life could anyone ask for?

I am loved unconditional.